On A Sunday Morning When I'm Already Frustrated by a Computer That Has a Mind of Its Own.

Dear God,

Dear Great Whatever,

Dear ITS,

Dear Interlocutor Who Is Receiving This Email,

I don’t mind rainbow twirls. Wonka’s everlasting gobstopper or even the lollipops from the guild of Oz are wonderful. Still, the twirl of the rainbow swirl has now become a tremendous obstacle with my MacBook Pro - one that has seen services numerous times over the last few years because it is slow, it crashes, and the Skittles whirligig from hell wishes to be my best friend.

We are now at a place of emergency. My emails crash my computer. Grading crashes my computer. I spent 1/2 of my day cursing at my machine because it shuts down while I’m working and when rebooting it takes forever to warm back up. 

Somedays are better than others and I think my frustration is all in my head. Other days, like today, makes me feel like I’m in an Edgar Allan Poe novel. I am drastically in need of a computer that can keep the pace of the work I do. I’m on my machine a good portion of my day and when it gets to the point that I’m working from my phone because it is more reliable, it is a problem. 

I’m praying to the Great Whatever that I will finish this email in time before it crashes again and doesn’t save my words. I will hit send in hopes that something can be done. At this point, it is becoming impossible to do my job because the Apple of my eye, the MacBook Pro that I’ve been using as my computer-of-choice before I came to Fairfield University, is becoming an intolerable, angry son of a Butch (that’s my father’s name). 

HELP (insert waving white flag here).

Bryan